Lots of New Developments

My apologies for not being more devoted to posting to this blog in the preceding few weeks. I've had a lot of fascinating developments and I havn't really had time to come here and bare my soul.

The SAA Christmas party was an astounding success and we had wonderful attendance. It was a delight for all of us to gather in a very non-serious setting and all of us to just have fun. We will certainly have to do it again.

As you can no doubt easily read from the picture, I will be getting hitched in short shrift. I presented my beloved with the ring (sapphire with six small diamonds with a platinum antique scroll band) on December 10 at our favorite restaurant and she said yes. I already have things arranged with the church of our choosing, and we will be married on July 26, 2008. I'm quite excited. We will be having a very traditional Mass with the smells and bells, not to mention lots of chanting in English and Latin. I am, indeed, a very lucky man.

Also just got back from a retreat at Monastery of the Holy Spirit (Conyers, GA) with one of my sponsees. We attended the Liturgy of the Hours (Vigils, Lauds, Terce, Sext, None, Vespers, and Compline) there and worked on the Steps. He completed Steps 4-7. I'm very pleased. It was a tremendous atmosphere to bear our souls to one another. I also presented him with his 1 year chip/token at a meeting of our sister fellowship, SLAA, there in Atlanta.

There are also some exciting developments in terms of my local SAA group. We are soon to be expanding from one meeting weekly in our geographic region to three. The women are starting their own meeting, and we are adding in an afternoon meeting on Sundays. Exciting times to be a sex addict, I must say.

I am just filled with gratitude. Lots of beautiful things going on for me in my life. That said, however, my finances are struggling far more than I would like at this time. I am filled with a lot of fear these days, and it looks as if I may be forced to "ask for help" from my mother. This isn't a prospect that this adult healthcare professional relishes in the slightest. But I am going to be forced to. With having to cut back a shift weekly since the middle of the semester, I have some rather insurmountable financial obstacles that arn't disappearing. My pride and ego are frightened at such prospects. However, at times we must do those things that are most difficult.

I am also in the process of re-working Step 9, and I have quite a few amends that I have been not looking forward to making. I am not relishing the prospect. But I have been procrastinating too much on these things. It is far easier for me to busy myself with my sponsees and helping them work their Steps.

Chris

The Promises

I found a lovely posting from a blog talking about "The Promises" of Al-Anon
from the AFG book From Survival to Recovery.

1. We will become mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment, and wonder. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.
2. We will discover that we are both, worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.
3. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth
4. Courage and fellowship will replace fear. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.
5. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.
6. We will begin to feel and will come to know the vastness of our emotions, but will not be slaves to them.
7. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.
8. As we gain the ability to forgive our families, the world, and ourselves our choices will expand.
9. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows.
10. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us, as we allow our lives and the lives of those we love to flow day by day with God’s ease, balance, and grace.
11. No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in life’s paradox, mystery, and awe.
12. We will laugh more.
13. Fear will be replaced by faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

Can we really grow to such proportions? Only if we accept life as a continuing process of maturation and evolution toward wholeness. Then we suddenly begin to notice these gifts appearing. We see them in those who walk beside us. Sometimes slowly or haltingly, occasionally in great bursts of brilliance, those who work The Steps change and grow toward light, toward health, and toward their Higher Power. Watching others, we realize this is also possible for us.

Will we ever arrive? Feel joyful all the time? Have no cruelty, tragedy, or injustice to face? Probably not, but we will acquire growing acceptance of our human fallibility, as well as greater love and tolerance for each other. Self-pity, resentment, martyrdom, rage, and depression will fade into memory. Community rather than loneliness will define our lives. We will know that we belong, we are welcome, we have something to contribute, and that is enough."

BEAUTIFUL. :)

Christmas Party for Sex Addicts?

I suppose it presents a unique situation when a bunch of sex addicts and their spouses/partners gather together to celebrate Christmas together. This Sunday my SAA group is having a Christmas party in the home of two of our members who have so graciously offered their time and home for the evening to us. It will be a beautiful occasion and I am dutifully excited.

One of the things that myself and the other "old timers" my my SAA group have tried to emphasize is social fellowship between members. In chapter one of the personal stories in the Sex Addicts Anonymous Green Book (p. 109), the author talks about a retreat that the original SAA group went on, where he goes on to talk about how that tradition continued through the years. He writes: "There was almost a magic to the weekend. It deepened our bonding and enriched our program . . . My learning over the years is that groups that spent weekends together did very well. . . The group has to have a life outside of its regular meeting time."

What parties, retreats, etc. create for us is a foothold over the terminal "uniqueness" and isolation that is characteristic of our disease. It makes us far less able to embrace that voice within us that tells us that we are especially evil, unworthy of love, and deserve each and every bad thing that life throws at us. Indeed, we are not alone. Fellowship fosters within us the courage to confront the lies that we tell ourselves.

In the ORIGINAL version of "The Problem" by Roy K in our sister fellowship, SA, the last paragraph is particularly pertinent: "In the solution, by surrendering again and again to the discipline of meeting with each other, people, without knowing it, through the honest revelation of their own lives, confront us with our disease as it really is. Our cry, 'Connect with me' becomes 'Confront me with myself -- the self I'm running from -- in a way that I can accept.' And the healing begins."

Have chronic anxiety or trouble sleeping? Try some L-Theanine

I know it's a bit odd for a recovering person to push a pill as a solution to a problem. We all have this little voice inside of us that tells us that a "pill will fix everything." Dodging that voice, of course, some of us have true organic problems that need pharmacologic intervention. Would we endorse someone not to treat their diabetes or hypertension? That would require taking "drugs", of course. I don't want to detract from the legitimate point that many medications can pose addictive issues for people. I don't pretend to be immune to this. The exciting thing about this supplement is that it is "natural" in the most immediate sense, is available over the counter, and has absolutely no evidence that it poses any addictive potential.

Chronic lack of sleep is a drag. I, for one, am plagued by a chronic intractable insomnia that eats me to the bone. I cautiously acquiesced to my psychiatrist and chose to treat them in the traditional manner, but with some heavy monitoring, of course. L-Theanine may present to me another tool to fight this problem.

L-Theanine is an amino acid derivative of green tea that has been getting some sensational coverage in the secular press, and increasingly, in the medical journals. We're all familiar with the hundreds of studies showing the vast array of health benefits of green tea. Many of its qualities that induce relaxation come from a potent neurologically-active amino acid called L-Theanine. Ingestion of 200mg of L-Theanine creates a sense of relaxation after 30-40 minutes of ingestion. It does so by stimulating the production of alpha brain waves, as well as being involved in the formation of the inhibitory neurotransmitter, GABA (gamma amino butyric acid). GABA, of course, inhibits the reuptake of dopamine and serotonin in the post-synaptic cleft.

I've ordered a bottle of this stuff and this is my first night trying it. I hope it will be beneficial. I have attached links to all the studies I found in the medical databases concerning this substance. I hope someone else out there finds this useful.

Can't Sleep -- Get some Zzzz's
L-Theanine -- The Next Supplement Superstar
L-Theanine -- The Relaxation Amino Acid
L-Theanine Monograph
L-Theanine Reduces psychological and physiological stress response
The acute effects of L-theanine in comparison with alprazolam on anticipatory anxiety in humans
The effects of L-theanine, caffeine and their
combination on cognition and mood